The month of May was the busiest to date and as I was a terrible human and didn't blog AT ALL I'm making up for it by doing a series of blogposts about my 'MAY ANTICS' - filled with stories and updates about what happened last month!
But first let's start with the only one thing actually sticks out in my brain and I thought, now this, this story is worthy of a blogpost.
Stick around if you can it's awfully entertaining tale.
So my friend of god knows how long Abi and myself decided that our long-awaited trip to London should finally happen! She'd quaintly suggested that we go to a workshop/talk that she was going to and that I'd go with her! This was the Tristen Sharpe workshop - it was all fab, we had far too much coffee and got caught in the Arctic Monkeys hype at Finsbury Park station (my fault entirely) but was all in all a fantastic day. However this wouldn't be an awfully entertaining story without something going wrong and that was this.
On our train home, which we had to wait until after 7 to get, we stopped unexpectedly at Three Bridges Station due to a tragic accident that had happened down the track. Hopeless and unsure of what would happen next, we got of the train with so many other people you would not believe it. We found without any intention of doing so, befriending two ladies who were in high spirits despite the terrible and unintentionally inconvenient event. Abi and I were herded with the rest of the crowd and our new found friends to the front of the station where we were told to wait patiently for the replacement bus services to arrive...
Well, stranded and thoroughly pissed off by the lack of organisation and care of the train services, we retreated to the nearest pub as my phone was running shockingly low on battery and we were undeniably in need of a drink. By this time, I fail to mention we'd gained another friend and had all discovered that we were all headed south to either Brighton, Eastbourne or Hastings.
Strangly we all found things in common and developed friendships rather quickly; I suppose in situations like that you have to, but I wouldn't have compromised those who we met on the day for anyone else! After a jaegerbomb and toilet trip, about an hour and a half into this event, we agreed that a taxi from Three Bridges would be our best bet. After one of our new found friends called various taxi ranks up, the buses started coming in but unsurprisingly with the amount of people still left at the station it turned into absolute carnage - honestly, it looked like something you'd see in the hunger games. People diving to get to the buses, crowding round, pushing, shoving etc. And we were there, the five of us like "Yeah, we've all bonded over this and we're laughing because life is too short to be negative over this NOW LET'S TAKE A SELFIE".
In truth, we probably seemed like right insensitive bastards at the time and it was lucky that we did retreat to the Snooky Fox (yes, that was the name of the pub, but hey, let's not knock it they were very understanding of our situation) otherwise there may have been a punch up in which we would have been the cause of... not intentionally of course, it's not in any of our natures to solve a problem with violence. Alcohol and laughter: yes, that is what should solve things. ANYWAY, so the taxi came blah blah blah, we found out that they didn't hear us on the phone properly and we needed two more people blah blah QUE Russell and UKIP Peter to join the Three Bridges Clan. AND THEN WE SET OFF,
So by this time, I can imagine you feel slightly exhausted just by reading this, well imagine this happening plus feeling tired+exhausted+excited+giddy+delusional... Yep that was us.
Russel and Peter were unlike the rest of us, both were mid 50s+ and one possessed 3 bottles of wine which they decided to swig in the taxi until we were told we couldn't (I accidentally lost the top to one of them and so Russell and Peter had to down it opposite the co-op petrol station). We then got some dosh out - I swear I spent more on the taxi than I did on the train, what an absolute outrage.
Anyway on the journey, from when we arrived in Three Bridges at 7.50pm we were now at 11.30 and only just leaving. Abi, Brad and I were in the back laughing hysterically at the absurdity of what was happening and that after all this we were FINALLY going home!
I should probably explain why UKIP Peter is called UKIP Peter. No he didn't support UKIP...as far as we know. He was however very 'about that life' and upon driving past a field, he slurred away about his involvement in fracking and oil or something. All I remember from that, was that I tried my very hardest to contain my laughter while Wendy said "I think I've just found Three Bridges very own Nigel Farage".
We chatted, laughed and even came up with a sitcom; I'm still conferring with people over the idea expect something to crop on Digital Spy at some point (I jest). So yeah, that happened and Russell was awfully generous in paying for the rest of our journey from Brighton. RUSSELL IF YOU READ THIS YOU'RE A BLOODY BRILLIANT HUMAN BEING AND I SALUTE YOU SIR.
Oh yeah, we also did the Three Bridges Awards or the Taxi Awards - yes, if you ever find yourself in this position where you form a weird and wonderful bond with strangers and end up jumping into a cab with each other be sure to to the Taxi Awards (lets give it a generic term ey? Make things easier in a complex situation!)
Abi and myself arrived home safe and well - I honestly don't know how we were still existing by that point it had been such an eventful day. Any other person would probably have knocked themselves out with a Nerf Gun but yes.
Very eventful day and one I shall not easily forget!
If you ever get yourself stuck in this situation, always make sure that someone knows where you are! Also surround youself with people who are in your position and you may bond - let's face it it's better than being alone!
Don't complain to the station, complain to eachother - complain after, professionally and calmly.
Wait for the bus service or honestly, just get a taxi - it may cost a little more but it'll get you home and you can always get a refund from the station. If they've dealt it badly it's their fault they can't get you home so make sure you get a refund!
Keep an eye out for more stories!